How to save money on a first date

Monday, November 27th

00:26:54

Dating is expensive. But what if it didn't have to be? Debbins and Whitney discuss ways to save some dollars on a first date, while avoiding looking like a cheap-o. Although, they disagree on a few things...

Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

While government's huge champagne and spare change money. For seven. By went beyond what a winning hey let's get on guns is the podcast where we figure out how to master the art of living life to the fullest. Well still saving money at the same time it is an art he really has takes skill we're trying to figure it out we literally mastered it ourselves. This week we're trying to figure out the financial advocate of a first dates move the first yeah there's a look at those are expensive. Yeah they are the average the average dinner date in America is about 78 dollars now this is dinner drinks and dessert we're talking about. That and that and that differs you know I mean if you live in New York or LA it's gonna be more if you live in a small town in the midwest it's gonna be less written it'll bring in Rochester. Rochester is a pretty affordable town yet but you can still really can add up easily on so hockey save money and your first date. And are there times where maybe you shouldn't transit money because you might look cheap and overall it's not wise for right so we're trying to figure that out today on champagne and spare change. Yes now it's 788 dollars is the average that means that if you spend less than 78 bucks you're gonna theoretically maybe look cheat. Seventy bucks is still a lot there's a lot of comedy in September and ice as a dinner date. And it wasn't at a very expensive place wasn't it cheap place it wasn't like a random Cheney was a nice place. On middle to replace a spent about 6065. Box. It still felt a lot and it I think about this and that by the way that date whenever the second date. Soul yap so if you spend like 65 box I'm all these first dates that are duds. It broke. And inspect I didn't spend sixty bucks a week and groceries. You're gonna go broke real quick if you do and out like. I don't know once a week to week exactly. Any so you took your date were you paid sixty backseat at this person to what you would consider an affordable restaurant. All I can I consider the a good place mare. Yeah it's not a cheap place but it's not also it's not like a fancy place. Was like a nicer Mexican restaurant we definitely could fit. So here's my thing I feel like. It depends on the atmosphere. And the food quality and also like the problem is behind that date like if you if somebody takes me somewhere and it's may be on the more like affordable and it's no might even say cheap. If it's if there was thought put into it. I wouldn't it now wouldn't Balkans that as much an also like it also depends how much you like the person because if you really like somebody you're gonna rationalize all sorts of things. A way. Yet you're gonna make it work but you don't like them then you're gonna be like okay this place sucked it was yep cheap you're gonna find reasons not. 1 idea that he's so okay see don't think that the the level of restaurant really matters as in March. If it really matters more just on the person serious and I think yeah I mean it depends if you don't know this you don't know this person yet so your first impression might be put on Applebee's. Not that there's an hour and Applebee's but it doesn't him with the most romantic the first states. It's not it's now it's not romantic and it's also not something that would be thoughtfully for mean if we went to. A cheaper place and it just so happened to be like this amazing gourmet Mac and cheese spot rate like they had remain Mac and cheese. Because the guy remembered me saying I love Mac and cheese or love grilled cheese grilled cheese. Then it would be like you know that this meal is only. Forty ducks has got to have some characters. Yeah yeah well. How much do. Usually spend. On the first date do you ever really spend money on the first day typically is a guy verses a girl you know I mean right. It's 117 black guys I think more often than not will still pay I think it's a more case by case. Yeah I think it depends on the date if it's a dinner date IE. I don't usually I always offer I always fully expect or you know intends you follow through with my offer. You don't do the fake thing. No the hate the fake thing. Elaine we'll know here's a thanks so I actually I like when the girl does the ball off gesture. But what I hear about it is I can't always tell it's genuine right. Can sometimes costs of this is the banks sometimes the girl will be like all donor we should you know which is what the bell yes and you can clearly tell that it's an anus has actually wants put the belt right. But it sometimes it's like a Katie she really wanted to split the spill because it was a bad date. And she doesn't wanna feel like she owes me anything you know that's two dailies to dance. Teacher might. I think if I date. And the guy is rude or a pig or like offensive or whatever. Let him pay because it's like I've better at least get a good like free meal out of. OK so I see it was a bad day what does that wasn't a good date. You don't intend and seen this man ever again but you know he's he's a nice guy good guy yeah yeah that's cute split was put it right. Because there's really you know you're not tied to hand you don't feel like you all out anti gang yeah but his display in the bill on romantic let's say it was a good dates. On and he doesn't offer to pay yeah negative. Now. It's OK here's the thing I think like. I this is what I hate I hate this because politically. Pull up that way and politics here yeah. You know I am a firm believer in everything should be equal and all of that but. It's. This is something I'm working on with myself I can't help but kick that idea that. It is a little there's something a little bit less romantic why would you wanna contain again free meal I was a woman I would say no it's let's keep that. That part of it no you're saying is it is it not romantic dry end up splitting. For a night and yeah I think that. As much as I hate to say it and I hate myself for saying it it yet it's a bit less romantic if like the guy grisly case that we don't Dutch on this. I. I don't like paying for the full thing yeah what I will say in makes me feel kind of looking hero. And if here's what I don't like though is I don't like when there's no gratitude for it when the girl when the girl is just assuming that the guy's gonna pay. Then I'm almost like actually nevermind they want back out because I am antagonist you know that's why I like the dance of like all leisure. Well thank you suck so this day went on in September by the wayward drop like 65 bucks. She never lake even offered you know she was like on how we can split yeah that take offer and a bomb and she said thank you what it just. It was a way later added now anyways so you know. And that adds up let's say let's say you go and one that adversity even with the award for state a month but still actually 65 bucks if you go on a dinner. A right and that's a lot lol OK so if you're me and you don't make a mine right yeah it right and if you may twenty bucks a week abandoned in a variety of Brett should. Make that much wider gap. OK so this this relationship blogger and speaker named James Michael Sama. Was quoted in an article on help dot com as saying quote the increasing costs of dating can dissuade men from asking out a larger number of women and make them focus on. Not more on when they really wanna spend quality time so I feel like maybe that should be the general rule here is. You know you don't ask somebody out for dinner because you know it's gonna be more you don't ask somebody up for dinner unless you really. Really are into them and maybe you've already gone on kind of a less formal. How do you do you know with a wanna thank you for going on for state you're going an effort state because you don't know them yet. They're trying to get to know that some dinner probably isn't the best way to go I will say though I like about dinner is alcohol. Yeah and eight kind of loosen people up his first it's a little bit tense and it kind of just makes up a little more comfortable that being said I don't necessarily like. Gone on for states just for drinks because it's too quick that was my next question why don't you just got for drink it's too quick bond is. So that's that you meet at the bar at the bar at my whatever you know 7:7 o'clock Creighton you your first drink OK Mimi entered the last few half an hour and now. Wait a second share the other half an hour okay now at 8 o'clock you've been different power give a third. You depend on your size you might not be able to drive yup you know and then get sloppy made bad decisions on the first day it took just that's a sixty minute date. You know so I don't know. Dinner kind of spreads it out a bit more now drinks and something else may be something else free that let's get drinks and then go. For like a walk in the Parker something at a range right bomb. At dinner yet dinners too expensive. Think no I mean if you nurse your drink like I I think I can definitely make two glasses of wine last two hours. I'm sipping on nursing in August is when you aren't upper state you don't wanna drink too much bird during too quickly because Unser suddenly you're acting like a acting a fool act through and you know and packages if I just have it in front and you know and it's yummy. You know I was as a blogger to particulates just get like gin and tonic with no lie to so that's straight whiskey and the worst flat bottom shelf yeah yeah. Here's that I'm wondering if you've ever done because I've never ever experience is my entire life. Has a girl ever. Paid for the meal. Has a girl ever paid yet as the guy never late paid that ever happened in the history of dating. OK well first dates this is it that close I've ever come to this actually this was. This the best for eight and a best first date I ever went on behind us a shout out to nameless guy who's to who's. The call I cracked today oh my god call and crank out come Greg so. We went and played this ultimately didn't in New York City you went to this late jazz bar that had pink pong tables and like hockey or some help cool let's on so we win their theory like. Low key. And got a couple of drinks and I believe it was either the second or third rounds that I've got. And he at first I was like well now and then was and that it was a really I want to and like I think he was buried. Graceful about and it wasn't like I was the little lady like now now now you're not paying for us. I really appreciated that and so yeah I think because that was a first date I technically paid for something. You did or something when I'm getting that. Had had a guy ever paid for a nap. Now. Now I don't think. And the history of time a first date on that ever happened I don't think it has I don't I mean yeah. Not not in my life not in my lifetime right now I'm wondering if because sometimes I don't really know I'm gonna. Offered a pain I always do but there's part of me that. I like to think that I'm not gonna make a decision until she earns it which I always do anyway bill Cilic I know it's a good date but I was gonna do and even if the Sox are just I and that's just the way I was raised on. Why do you think if from if you wanted to date and your day starts ordering like lobster and like at the cheese board and all this likely step. And like the wind it's like sixty bucks a bottle of that. He knew who at that point not paying and it's still be romantic you know late. Not at all now Orton out just pay for your own stuff Billick hey you ordered that wind you when you get that you know that she's port I didn't want yeah you it's on your bill honey you know. Yes. Honey on the first day yeah maybe thumb I say. Yet in that case like if this person is going way way over your budget for like exorbitant lead beyond anything you plan then you say hey you know. We equal if you if we split this and if they have a problem with that then you guys aren't compatible and rice and cares that's. But. I actually I kind of this is the opposite I went on a deep with a guy when I was in college. Though it told you when we got to the restaurant. That I could. Order from a certain part none of and you click the kids many like the special like the specials the deal earlier it was like some kind of deal of the day special kind of education and he I'm not kidding you. And needless to say never doubt or even hammered together anymore no no no didn't work out. We stayed friends but now it was it was written. That is weird I was looking at something that was outside of the specials and he said oh actually can you just to me. We stick to like this. So this point. There are assuming who's gonna pay he didn't actually offer to pay yet the rate. Ultimately also I was in college so I was kind of broken and I so I I act exactly asked as I was like well I don't really have any money time. Do otherwise you don't you don't go out on a first date at a dinner. You do dinner for first day unless you're willing to assure you I thought it out because you just look like him. Jump and make matters worse he was four years older than a song like. I don't know lake now whatever ages and click on man Brett you're out of college so this guy this guy was thrifty are. Omnia with his inner which brings me to something that I know you and I disagree on OK how do you feel about if the guy pays with either a gift card now horror with coupons god. You and I disagree in this yeah we DO. I don't think there's anything wrong with the principal. It's hard to say and you can't get this out I it's hard I don't think. The thing wrong with paying with a gift card lower. On. It all. And the world see it under any circumstance cap hi daddy gotta give the coupon or gift card you got to own it because it looks worse. You look like you're lacking confidence if you like to sleep eating and. And then it's weird well here you didn't. Tell me I should do it I'll tell you what I've done and work works let me educate you. It's because your two years younger than me and you ought to learn all right soul the school here in jail. Meeting near the end of dinner like maybe you've you've just finished up. And I'm laughing out excellent man mappings and you just finished dinner and your like head demeanor on the term which. Couldn't I don't know she might like you Wear it like it's on so this could be just one way or another run right camps aren't about. And then while you're gone since lightly slit the coupon of the gift card to your waitress. So sneaky you're starting come back. Into higher starting with dishonesty. You are so yes. As a bogus it's good it's a good white lies what it is what I don't Kate and tried to mean review. Is that is that the full well I mean that's so then so the master planned app so then went to the waitress comes back maybe you'll come back at all. And your data be like wondering if you are under the those of like it took care. We you know we can now give me. Some. Shows and she doesn't even know you paid with a Q yeah. That's cool I guess I don't know. I don't get why it matters I don't get why it matters because if we want to let's say want to really nice restaurant. And you had a week he'll get some good drinks even had desserts we had like to souffle. And I had coupon yup that should take away from the delicious experience that we just had. Yeah but it makes me feel lake. And maybe this is wrong but it makes me feel like I'm not work. More. Of your money than like it's like the voice Geoff can I have the opportunity to get something cheaper why what are. Because I mean this just this isn't just the way it is this is just the psychology of it but I would just feel like. You didn't you meet as a worth. The amount of money it actually costs you're like already trying to skimp on the first state if you're a couple of dates in no problem. Skipping that will be like and I'm trying to handle the waitress like. Fries they sucked we should get your problem it's lobster. Extra mustard gimmick to get no not gonna do Napoli if I have a coupon here's the thing if she's the right girl for me. Guess what I'm going to be doing in the rest of my life whether I think it's okay now gone so we gotta do is yet to own it rates if you bring out the gift card Bieber at the coupon. You almost like kind of make a joke about elect and others like super lame. But actually happened to have a coupon for this place like is this weird about is a coupon. And if she is like. We that's weird you know hours account awkward about it then a girl for me. But she's like clueless ridiculous you know and I kind of giggles about it and almost becomes a thing. And that's not that that has come when when. I think there's a time and a place for everything and I don't think the first date is the time to bring up to coupons because women want to be wined and dined in the beginning you wanna be courted chew us. Well you know yeah. I whining about the dime. That's like a Knight in shining armor saving a princess. On a donkey instead of a horse that was I don't know it's like that the nine shining armor getting his armor are cheaper and still say I'm. Armor still works as well and is just shiny. Just happen have a coupon board. From the blacksmith. Guidelines for deals the blacksmith he's on the email us yeah they well my guide you endorsement with the with the local lacks an idea yes in the school. If you do that might horses' shoes yet. What about a gift card can can't forget the coupon that would got a gift card get card is the same thing I may need to be if you're going to be. Brutal. Okay which is. What it is if you're gonna be frugal you need to be prepared to you know planned us out a little bit and and be. That's key but smooth smooth. I guess username really have to see that it's you know you can be point out a card any you don't necessarily have to. Do you like hey this is the gift card is Everett happy holidays on it. They like they had. I had the bill only just kind of play well and take a card out and some cards are like you know blacker grade don't have crazy you know step on yes and it's like his happy how. Did they birthday right. We shall see it I wouldn't do that I just wouldn't do it Evans. Fine OK well that's just where you and I differ yep com. Well we've kind of established that dinner is probably the more expensive route to go. Oh it to be more selective. We re US and out to dinner yet maybe if you wanna save some money don't do that firfer states yeah so what are some other options forests and other cheap or even three day ideas. Well like I said my best first date what is drinks at me. Ping pong player is basically playing pool and ping pong so I think that. I don't know I mean I was in New York city's actually might have been more expensive than I thought but the idea is. You know you can do something acting for a first date it's actually better to do something kind of low key low pressure on the Greek. You know like and now this is gonna sound really like sappy but and it might be too romantic firfer stately stargazing all of her. A bottle of ten dollar Weiner eight dollar and that's that's corporate let's hook up my side. That's an I mean stargazing gel yeah. Or you could bring like you could go on a hike a lot of people like hiking now is a great way to get you know. And at the new ditched yet going I saw some guy you met and tender. What's I don't know even what's going up in the let's nor can hear you scream. Really six limited delays and he was never heard from again. Yup exactly come all that was left would like bread crumbs. Has that brought her. Are. What else did you you could you know what I this is this is actually something I saw online you can check out a new neighborhood detonator do you have. I'm okay I'm still can be negative you're gonna Angela walker on a new neighborhood with the spurs and for state. The farmer's market. Well again yet recently the neighbor thing it's like they were planning out her future are ready we should live here would be nice for the kids that can swing. Secret to what anybody going to. Let us that we live there don't worry they. I'm talking about lake here in Rochester we've got this out wedge we've got the east and we've got these different neighborhoods it I'll. Macy was using the shops used to be shops coffee you know that any if you get copy okay that's less than ten bucks and you walk around with your copy and have some laughs. Good idea. Have some laughs farmer's market. Could be boring and she's a vegetarian is that really and vegetables by the late. That means here look these Kook cucumbers are a bad sent to wanna get some lists debts comics and cucumber water my apartment and in LA. Lineup I've ever heard yeah cucumber water gap means so I am I being negative to all these ideas good ideas on the face of the I don't want this wasn't a first date. Might have been second date. Bomb but it was really cheap and it was fun actually so we went to Cobbs help park Chan Rochester this is like during the day on. And we walked around there and we meet peanut butter sandwiches wiest it was a picnic drizzle otherwise. We meet you butter sandwich is like on the hill there's a will overlook you can see that the skyline of the city that. And that cost me probably fifty cents because I had the peanut butter I had the bread. Right now and we walked on it was a beautiful day. Did that go anywhere we dated we we never dated we went on a couple of dates you know put up a little bit it was very cute very casual. Yeah interesting you know but see that just that right their use saying that it was like a casual hook up situation and you like had peanut butter sandwich is it just feels to me. It was fun though it was like digital cheap the time they don't we branded as a picnic do one at a picnic a bag and that doesn't feel it's cheap it's only ran a branch of the branding branding yet. Well okay some other some other like low cost date ideas out there and isn't she making a peanut butter sandwich. And if you live near the ocean or a late got a fun thing would be a beach day bring a soccer ball bring a little ball volleyball whatever that's cool have some fun a little a little. Competition is a form of pork player something like that. You're you live images in my kitchen. Boy you get to that you get to see them you know sneak peak in the big ensue if you didn't doubt they know they're hiding anything out and get sunburned. And I asked for cleric there I don't know we both got the deck you know I'm immediately yap a number of aloe and that sounds so weak yeah yeah. He let it hurts lending and slash yeah flooding at the park is another good idea and the answer I love that idea and IAE IA. The other coming into wintertime I really think am I do this. Sledding out for state that it's yeah it's essentially free if you have a slide. Yeah it's very YouTube like that's totally something you know you would do something like really fun and and pick you nostalgic a child now. Chain series I don't I got his back and. You basically child don't do something a kid that you. I think that's cool they might be a little we here. Now it's not we I know it can be while you're sitting back to. Actually two slides yet is it Felix spoons adding yet you've never met this person first imitates an online situation. So you item they're. Them all in your business that would be really creepy. Well everything goes well you might decide to share slide I think goes well but if you just Matt and like all the sudden nearly grinding up on you on the sled in oh. Interest and happy before Jim Tucker experience I just envisioning like did you bring a flashlight is. It is their quality bar in your pocket or is that rate L well I. All I also think it's good on one of the negatives to it first date at a restaurant. Is that the conversation is really all the entertainment as so if you're someone that maybe you don't want Ryan conversation sledding is an activity yes you know so that's still. On its bonding experience and it it's really for so. I like I'm a big fan I'm a big fan of not doing dinner on the first aid because I think it's just it's kind of an awkward kind of awkward and like. Now you're right the only thing the only entertainment is the company is the conversation and that's a lot of pressure and. A lot of you're right it's precious less pressure when he do an active dates yes on I've gone. Here's some somebody shouldn't do advertising money is gone go carting and upon a second or third day. It was still again a child activity it was fine yeah I. Your time but costs like fifty bucks 0% ROL maybe was come up with more like 30% it was still like 5060 bucks for the two of us he's so I paid. Bomb. And that was fun but expensive so this is kind of the same idea but a cheap for you don't. Another winter idea this is something I always wanted to do open but had never done on go to a place that sells Christmas trees. All holes a lot of those places at least the place that we used to go when ouster or not. Had free hot chocolate and free cookies to go there it's free hot cocoa and free cookies you walk around with Patrice. You leave you don't pay for anything that's yes that's that's gad that's again one there's another one similar to that about the Christmas trees acute do. Like a tour and a Weiner a winery or a brewery. A lot of times they'll do free tumors like seasonally yeah June but it wouldn't necessarily it can't you know I wouldn't tell the date Hayward on how to freaks you're specifically sought this out. It's great for you say they wanna take it sewer rat expert and exactly happens to be that you don't pay you can buy. Read her drink a guy has you're gonna you're gonna get some drinks they're very you know that's against good players is good the reason I like that that's another one that I like is because. You're just on the tracks yeah right just look at the Lucy Doocy you know kind of thing from alcohol. It's obvious quick because you have the events going on to work right it's not gonna be just done two drinks. Out exact break ends you guys will both be littered up before you really start talking to shall go on the two are aware he'll be having your free flights of wine or beer. You'll have you know he'll be loosened up what else does the talking and then at the end you guys get to talk to you you're likely sit out on it so. Pretty much in conclusion I think we've we've decided dinner is not the best idea for first date. Because expensive save dinner for a second or third date. Yes but you dude want if you really wanna go to keynote your classic traditional you wanna go on to dinner for a first state. And you don't want to break the bank choose place that is. Trendy cool you know good vibes good atmosphere good food or someplace that in or someplace that has. Awful like some you know pay attention when the person is talking and learn what they like and then take them somewhere that's meaningful so that it has a little bit cheap. At least there's some copy may be it food truck food truck rodeo those are funds upon like food thing interesting. Not for you not if you're dating now we. Six and if anyone thought. I think if you if you're into. That's not included did you get here. I would say don't invest in someone too early whip with the date they say I would say don't invest in Whitney. That's you. I don't invest in the in the person too early don't wait for the second third fourth day. Just cheaper yeah. Receives the money champagne for a change.
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