Congratulations graduates (both high school and college) of 2011!
Welcome to the real world! You may find it tough to adjust yourself to life without the structure of school there to keep you on track. There are many things I wish people would have shared with me when I left the school yard, and entered the workforce. Sure I got the common "keep your head up", or "follow your dreams". Those don't do anything for a person lost in a sea of new bills or unfamiliar surroundings. So my graduation gift to you is as follows: some practical advice for living life without school to guide you.
1. Food will cost more now:
Oh the days of high school and college, when one could walk into the cafetorium and pick up a chicken sandwich, chocolate milk, bag of fritos, and a moon pie for $2.50. Kiss those days goodbye. If you plan on eating like a human being, you need to familiarize yourself with "groceries". "Groceries" are food that you mix together to create the meals that were once prepared for you. They're not fun to buy, and always cost three times more than you thought. You can buy them at "grocery stores" , but I bet you knew that already. For those of you who like thier meals prepared, may I introduce the "value menu". These inexpensive food - like materials will keep money in your pocket, and chubby on your abdomen. They can be found 24 hours almost exclusively under giant neon signs.
2.Choose successful friends:
Remember Steve? You know... the guy who used to stick his whole head in the fish tank and try to drink all the water from the inside out? Lose that guy. You don't want to be caught up with that one friend who won't grow up past age 12. Everyone had one. He/she is always the one who wants to go play lazer tag or fire bottle rockets at the elderly. This friend will only drag you down. Work on doing things to culture yourself, like buying clothes at H&M, reading a book with vampires in it, or better yet, listening to Spezzano and Sandy every hour that we're on the air (that includes best of shows on Saturday and Sunday). This will keep you relevent and interesting. Just remeber, shooting paintballs at the neighbors cat at 13 is funny, shooting paintballs at the neighbors cat at 19 is a felony.
3. Make sure jobs you apply for are legit:
Want to make $2,000 a week from the comfort of your own home? Who doesn't? The problem is all those craigslist and classified ads advertising too good to be true jobs are just that...too good to be true. Lord knows selling knives won't net you $100,000 a year, but If you believe it will, I have a great deal on some knives if you're interested. I'll admit I fell for this. I spent two weeks selling vacuum cleaners door to door. In the end I made no money, and I smelled like carpet fresh (FYI: Ladies do not like carpet fresh). Yea, working for minimum wage sucks, but it's better than working for a guy who wears fake gold chains and reeks of Jeff Gordon for men. TRUST ME.
That's all the advice you need. If you stick to those 3 pieces of info, everything else will come easy. I wish you luck, and may you find all the deals in the world while grocery shopping (seriously, it's so much money).